Who knows a kid like this? Does whatever he or she wants? Doesn’t feel like rules apply to them? Ignores explicit instructions? Speaks loudly and rudely to others? I have dealt with a few of these kids over the course of my teaching career, but it’s hard to 100% blame the kid. Nope, a lot of the kid’s behaviour comes from how their parents chose to raise them. I have heard enough stories at the lunch table and experienced a few cases myself this year so shake my head repeatedly. Twenty years of experience gives me a good sample. So why are parents so afraid to parent? Why is “being a friend” the choice nowadays?
Our third daughter is a challenge as my friends all know. She is by no means a brat, but boy, does she have the attitude when she wants to. Most people just see the cute side, but I have witness the evil in her and felt her rage. I have seen it happen before my eyes where she turns from a sweet dimple-cheeked child to a maniacal wildling. What gets me through her nonsense is TRYING to be calm and consistent (I’m 95% successful. I have lost it on her and startled her too. Hey, I’m not perfect). She is exhausting.
Over the past few months though her behaviour has improved. I chalk it up to personality. She has always been more active and outgoing than the other two. With that comes more ooomph! However, going through this makes me reflect on when parents are too afraid to stand up against their child (I’m thinking of one child in particular). They can’t say no to the whiny kid at the kitchen table so they make whatever their kid wants to eat that day. They give in when their kid throws a full-on tantrum in the toy section. Parents will write notes to the teacher to excuse incomplete homework or brings their child a hot lunch daily because the child demands it. Geez. Really? Wow. Who is the adult here? The child or the parent? Parents don’t want to say no to their kid, but then wonder why their child is acting like a brat? (Do they even know their kid is a brat?) It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. You, parents, created the monster. Unless someone points it out to you, you have no one to blame but yourself.
As a teacher, honestly, it is pretty easy to assess how your child behaves at home. If they think they can get away with it at school by lying or fake-crying, chances are they pull that tactic at home and are successful. I know kids have lied about homework or feeling ill to get out of gym class (yes, that STILL happens, LOL). Kids will cry to so they won’t get into trouble (doesn’t work).
What can you do to ensure you don’t raise a brat? Set boundaries and stick to them. Be consistent with consequences. Follow through with your threats. Praise good behaviour. Instill routines. For goodness’ sake, be a parent. Not giving into every request doesn’t mean you don’t love them. In fact, it is quite the opposite. You love them enough to help shape them into a self-sufficient, hard-working respectful adult. Sometimes love isn’t just buying them everything and giving them the moon. It really is about teaching respect and discipline. It is instilling important values. Your kid could be upset that you take away their device at 9pm or hate to eat all the veggies you load on their plate, but give it a few years, and they will get the “why” you did it.
Hip Teacher Mama 