Are we Living in a Coddled Generation?

This morning, I was counting up my permission forms for Track and Field Day next week. More than one-third of my students didn’t return them or won’t return them because they don’t want to do it. A couple are injured so those are legimate reasons, but otherwise, it’s just students who “don’t like track.” Their parents support that by not signing the form. Ugh. I don’t even know what to say. Who am I kidding, of course, I know what to say. (I just have to reel it in. LOL.) I wish I could just tell them that coddling their kid doesn’t help. I wish they could know that “suck it up soldier” is a common phrase in our household.

My parents were the opposite of coddling despite me being an only child. Now I look back and think it worked. I had to pay for my own university. I paid for my own car. I had a job since Grade 10 and at one point, I worked four jobs at the same time. I learned to be tough and fight through things. My parents wouldn’t let me opt out of a school activity. Are you kidding? They’d laugh in my face. If the teacher says to do it, I did it. There was no Option B.

Nowadays, if the kids don’t want to do something, the parents allow that to happen. Don’t want to study? Okay. Don’t want to take lessons? Okay. Some are afraid of their kids. I have met parents who haven’t thought to give their kids consequences when they do something bad. HUH? How do kids learn then for the next time? (Sadly, some don’t and repeatedly do the same thing again and again.) They let them get away with murder and really, what does that teach them? Nothing. Parenting before friendship is necessary.

Our generation has been inundated with “child-led weaning,” “child-led learning,” and child-led everything. Why aren’t parents setting the rules anymore? Is that why parents have run around making meals their kids will eat? Our kids have always been recognized as good eaters probably because I didn’t give them a chance to be picky. Sure, they weren’t fans of peppers and fish, but over time, they learned to eat it because they knew Mommy wasn’t going to stop making it. I wouldn’t make it often, but if it was on the menu, they were expected to eat it. Nowadays, they all love salmon. (We are still working on eggplant. LOL.) In many households, parents will make two meals (or even three) because of their eaters. I personally don’t have the time or patience for that. LOL. Eat or be hungry. (I learned that the hard way from my mom. Apparently when I was a baby in Hong Kong, my grandma found me eating cold rice from the rice cooker because I was picky at dinner.)

Our middle child didn’t want to take an extracurricular. Naturally, we signed her up for swimming and basketball. Swimming is an important life skill and I regret my parents didn’t make me do it. Basketball is our family sport so why not? Plus, now that she does do it, she has found that she is pretty good at it and gains more confidence as she plays house league weekly. We keep telling her that we push her because she CAN do things if she tries and we know better. We are her parents and only want to see her try and we shall see what happens. If we know we can help make an opportunity happen, why not?

I hope the parents will change their mind over the weekend and think about how Track and Field Day is actually beneficial. Besides getting fun physical activity, they are supporting their friends and participating in something challenging. I always tell them to push themselves and to do their best. You miss out on an opportunity to do either when you are just sitting on the sidelines. Fingers crossed that my kids will TRY something out of their comfort zone and parents will support that. Let’s give them a little push ahead and fuel a boost they may have within.

GIVEAWAY:Kidapalooza Fall Festival 2018

Fall events are coming at ya from every direction and this is one aimed for the kiddies!

Take a break from Thanksgiving preparations to celebrate with the little ones. Check out http://www.kidapalooza.ca and use the promo code FALLFUN for 20% off tickets.

Kidapalooza is taking place October 6 to 8 with INDOOR and OUTDOOR events at theMarkham Fairgrounds. Featured are Kidapalooza’s signature inflatables, mechanical rides, stage shows, a video gaming RV, rock climbing, pumpkin patch, special guest appearances, and so much more! You will also be able to shop local and artisan vendors along with all of the fall festival fun! SPECIAL GUESTS this year will be the OFFICIAL PJ MASKS characters from 12pm to 4pm daily.

May: Virtue of Responsibility

     

         We are deep into May and our provincial testing is around the corner.   We have math daily.   We talk constantly about preparation and responsibility.  Yet, I still have students who come to class without pencils, an eraser, or a calculator.  I don’t even know how to respond to THAT.   Sometimes I sigh.  Sometimes I laugh.  What else can I do?  I told them that it seems like I care more about their learning than they do (which is odd and shouldn’t be the case).

        I have reminded them in person, on Class Instagram, and on Google Classroom repeatedly.  It isn’t as if the students didn’t receive a Grade 6 list of items they needed in their Grade 5 report card.   They had an entire SUMMER to get their tools! It isn’t as if it wasn’t on their welcome newsletter which they received on the first day of class (whenever they started).  It is becoming so frustrating and I don’t even know who is at fault.  Do the kids not tell their parents?  Do the parents not read my agenda notes?  I put it on Class Instagram for parents to be aware because often they are on their phones.  How can I expect the students to be successful when they can’t even come to class with the right tools?  It isn’t even this test that worries me, it’s their life skills.  Being prepared and showing responsibility is a life thing.  I often ask them what do they think would happen if they didn’t complete a task assigned by their boss.  They decided it would lead to them being warned and then fired.  Well, it’s true and if class behaviour was any reflection of real life, I would have eliminated half my employees by now.  (I also tell them that university professors don’t chase for work and that’s a $2000 course down the drain.  I don’t think my students understand that NOW, but they will.  Their folks will the pain.)

       So my students make me think about my own kids.  Whenever their teacher requests something, it goes in my agenda and I will get them what they need to be successful at school.  My eldest is in a play and needed a green outfit.  I kept my eyes open for green clothes for the next two months until I found the right item.  My kid needs some empty bottles?  DONE.  I make a note not to recycle that and set aside a box for her homework.  Don’t all parents want to set up their kid for success?  Aren’t we all busy, but as parents, isn’t the child’s teacher request a part of your “to do” list?  I don’t think I’m an exceptional mom.  I think I am just doing what is asked of me – nothing more.  I am their mom and I am responsible for getting to the store because they don’t drive.  It is simple.

      Mental note for next year’s Meet the Teacher Night: emphasize that we are working together as a team and we all want the BEST for the child.  Have your child come to school with their agenda, books, and tools.  Return signed tests and permission forms promptly.  Review homework with your child and ask how things are going daily.  In our class, I am merely a guide.  I want my students to develop long-term skills and showing ownership for learning is on them.  Hopefully all the May announcements this month about responsibility will linger on their minds and something will click.  Next year, they will be Intermediate students and the teachers expect more independence.

         I FULLY understand busy schedules.  We are a multi-child family with one in rep sports.  The girls all take swimming.  We work full time (often bringing marking home) and enjoy leisure sports of our own.  We have weekend playdates regularly and go out often.  I blog for fun and then I blog part-time for work.  However, we still put a huge weight on school and that homework comes first.  It is a priority.   The older two are fairly independent with their work, but if they need something, we are there.  It seems like part of the parental gig.  I hope all parents check with their kids regularly see if magazines need to be collected, pencil crayons need to be bought, etc.  It shouldn’t be that stressful for a teacher to get a class ready for learning.  It should be an easy A.